fixin (fixin) wrote,

Стеба над моим английским резюме пост.

Когда я жила в Калининграде, то еще предполагал, что какая-нибудь заграничная контора по достоинсту оценит мой гений и пригласит к себе за бугор работать программистом за бешенные бабки.

Поэтому, чтобы увеличить вероятность этого события, сделал себе резюме на английском. Сейчас то я за бугор в загнивающий Запад не хочу, ведь скоро доллар будет стоить 60 копеек!

Резюме написал в 2003, последний раз редактировал в 2006.

Английский я знаю не очень, поэтому переведенное промптом резюме оказалось достаточно забавным.

Предлагаю постебаться над ним. Резюме - под катом.

Osipov Sergey Alexandrovich
28 y.o., good programmer, citizen of Byelorussia, high education, experience 2,5 years, not married,  lives in Moscow, foreign passport till 08 august 2006 year

Professional qualities
Personal qualities
Additional information

Desirable place of work
Personal achievements
Jobs history


In 1997 has finished the Byelorussian State University of information Science and Radio electronics on a speciality "Software of information know-hows". A mean ball 4.08. (max 5)

Professional skills

Skill level
I am specialized in the field of databases, bookkeeping and trade programs. For the solution of practical problems has used in main Access, Excel, 1S. I know and use SQL. 
Now I study Delphi, WEB-programming (CGI, SSI, PHP), MS SQL-Server. 
Mated the positions of the Implementator and Administrator of a DB, it was necessary to be engaged in problems archiving, increase of an overall performance, administered Microsoft SQL-Server 7.0. In passing has learnt design in Corel-PhotoShop, I know how beautifully to do design activities - declarations, signboard, WEB-banners. 
At entry on a new place of activity I always interfere with the unfamiliar software product, but in some weeks I am free oriented in it - I can very fast increase the proficiency in the necessary area, run in a modern language or development tools, to join in activity in area, unfamiliar for me. Everywhere, where I worked, with my activity were very pleased, considered my solutions effective and original. 
I consider, that most successfully I would work in the field of databases and WEB-programming.
The programming languages:
С, Pascal, Assembler, Fort, BASIC, Lisp, Prologue, C++, Object Pascal - I know perfectly. 
Operating systems

Dos and Windows 95-98 - perfectly: I know how to install, adjust, to write command files. Windows NT - I have experience of management NT-network, of set-up TCP/IP. Unix - studied during three months in institute - I know the language C, I can write on the command language Shell. 
The databases are my favourite area. I perfectly know and I know how to use SQL. Use ADO. Worked from a DBMS: MS SQL Server 7.0, 1S, FoxPro, Clipper, DataFlex. 
Visual programming 
I have experience and minings in environment Visual Basic and Delphi. Some experience in VC++.
Word, Excel, Acces, PowerPoint, VBA. There are minings in Access. 
1S-firm (such russian DBMS)
I know perfectly 1S-trade, 1S-accounts department. 

I know how to install a software and driverы, well I am guided in modern hardware, itself has collected the computer. I have experience with the trade equipment: by cash departments, weights, bar code. I have the home computer AMD-K6-2-350-64Mb 
I am by the experimental user of the Internet. I know how to search in the Internet, I have the pages, wrote generators of pages in the HTML-format. by WEB-programming in practice was not engaged, but read in the books about Java, CGI, SSI and I can fast learn in practice.. 
Well I know to the vectorial schedule in Corel, raster in PhotoShop, I shall make presentations in PowerPoint. I shall draw a beautiful advertising breadboard or banner, any declaration, signboard, placard.

Personal qualities

Responsible to work. I attempt to decide any problems in the field of the competence. I tender fresh and useful ideas, I finish them before implementation. 
I love hard work, the special pleasure to me is brought by finding of the effective solutions of arising problems. I have experience of a management of collective from 5 men, experience of teaching and training..
It would be desirable to work in the rallied collective, jointly to conduct free time, help in life each other. 
I do not drink, I do not smoke, I conduct a healthy way of life - I take up with gymnastics and run.
In business dialogue I do not assay handicappings, but in the personal schedule arduously I get the friends.

Additional information

I have the driver rights, the machine is not present, experience of driving minimum. 
I own a blind method of printing (200 signs per minute). I know how to use office engineering: by the copier, fax.
I am the citizen of Republic Byelorussian, is registered in Minsk. No live in Moscow. 
I can speak/understand English, understand computer books.

Desirable place of work

It would be desirable to work in large organization with large data volumes on modern development tools. An ideal - system development, which one used not in one, and in a network of organizations.
The housekeeping of the software of several organizations is possible.
Now I earn more than 800 $, desirable salary from 1000 $ up to 2000 $. 
Before maintenance to me would like to receive the warranties of a provision of employment, for what I am off-the shelf to execute any verifying tasks to demonstrate a skill level.
The  constantly departure other cities in CIS or temporary (maximum 5 years) departure in other foreighn countries is possible. I hav passport for foreighn travels till 08 august 2006.

Personal achievements 

I shall drive the most creative and productive solutions:

  • Unique for 1S the superfast reports on the goods - probably almost instantaneously to receive the reports on the incoming / consumption of the goods on days of week (Mon, Tue... Sun), on weeks, on each day, rating of sales of the goods and report on the unmarketable goods

  • Mining and intrusion of the distributed database under the accumulative discounts of a network(grid) of supermarkets Altyn with synchronization through a E-Mail.

  • System development of replication (data exchange) between central base and remote warehouse for 1S.

  • The program of generation of a beautiful HTML-site with full price of rack broken on groups

  • The monitoring system behind periods of validity in a supermarket.

  • Set-up of 1S-trade for the corporation trading auto spares. The program for matching price-sheets of different corporations

Job History

Now - November 2002: a manufacture, Moscow
Support and design soft for manufacture. 
November 2002 - November 99: a network(grid) of racks Altyn , Kaliningrad
Supported hot and set up under needs of a trade hall the program 1S. The large document circulation - about 2000 spent document / month and 3000 cheques / days is characteristic. Independently has entered the back-up control behind periods of validity, superfast reports on motion of the goods. Frequently decided nonstandard problems. Applied skills of design activity and design. Has used the Internet. Has elaborated a system of the registration of the accumulative discounts. Recently was engaged in problems of replication of databases. In bridge main activity rendered service on set-up 1S to indirect organizations. 
October 00 - August 00: Bread Plant, Kaliningrad
Was engaged in management by orders and decrees NT and MS SQL Server, wrote the database in Access.
November 99-August 99: "Intellectual office"
Worked in writing the program of the administrative registration " the Director of firm " on Visual Basic..
June 99-March 99: high school, Minsk
Worked the teacher at school. Has gained skills of teaching and training. Trained in the main Excel - similar program SuperCalc.
August 99-August 98: the private businessman, Minsk
Business in an orb of trade. Skills of business dealing, documentation, design
August 98-June 97: the research institute of Means of Automation,. Minsk
Tracking of a time schedule control traffic ligths system of city of Minsk. Programming of the controller of traffic lights of a crossroads. Mapping of the cartographical information in an air geosystem. BC ++, VC, С. May 97: BelarusTourist, Minsk. BC++, VC, Си.
May 97: BelarusTourist, Minsk
Reference system on tourism on Delphy. The degree project


Tags: забавное, пиар

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